Hello all,
First a check-in - where's everyone at? I didn't work out Monday or Tuesday morning but then Tom poked me into getting on the treadmill last night while we watched The Biggest Loser, so I ended up walking for 51 minutes, which was great. This morning we went to the gym (its been really hard to motivate myself to wake up in the morning recently - but I made myself turn on the light when the alarm went off which helped) and I did a super-hard, super-fast upper body workout BodyForLife style and walked 15 minutes on the treadmill. It felt really good to push myself and reminded me of why I started this whole process in the first place - to feel better!
My goal for this week is to lose 4 lbs. That sounds like a lot, but when I weighed in Sunday at 153.5 I hadn't been drinking enough water for 2 days, so I was retaining a lot. So I'm positive that with accountability, eating well and exercising I can achieve my goal of 149(.5?) by next Monday.
Which brings me to my next item of business - it sounds like we have ALL been struggling with our motivation and bodies recently. I know Michelle has been feeling like she has to completely get out of the process, and I know Teresa has been battling several colds, Tom and I have been feeling poopy and stressed and Lisa has been traveling.... so........ I want to put out a clarification on what I would like this blog to be.
I don't see this blog as only for the Las Vegas Half Marathon training. The whole reason I decided I needed an event-specific goal at all was for motivation to get off my ass and lose weight and get active again. That to me is THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THIS!!! For me, having you all to hash out some of this stuff with (my frustrations with myself and my lack of motivation/ability to wake up in the morning or desire to proceed or body limitations/injuries) is really helpful. I'm wondering if maybe some of you think that you shouldn't post if you aren't training (Tom and me last week) or like Michelle, feel like you can't participate in the LV 1/2 marathon. I think the idea of doing this resonated with all of us because we were all feeling like we wanted to get healthy and in shape and lose extra weight and feel better in our bodies. So... I would like to open up the blog to expand the posts to include WHEREVER we are in our own personal journey of health and wellness. And yes, I want to know about your training. And I also want to know if you realize you can't run but that you CAN do weight workouts and yoga. What is your process like? I also want to encourage all of us to re-examine and share our personal fitness and health goals. Its really helpful to get BACK in touch with WHY we want to do any of this in order to keep up the momentum. I know for me its imperative.
If this is just annoying to you and I'm really pissing you off with all this, you could put that up too. Well, I hope everyone knows I'm not trying to piss them off, but if you are having a strong reaction to this maybe there's something to look at. Personally, I'm noticing that I have been building up this resistance to change the closer it comes - the more I train, the more effect my choices have on my abilities to do the training and the more resistant I've become. For example - not going to bed early, drinking etc., not eating enough food during the day, eating the wrong kind of foods, not drinking water, etc. ad nauseum... Tom was mentioning this feeling that comes up for him whenever he starts to lose belly fat - a deep desire to overstuff himself with food, liquor, drugs, whatever. Its these boundaries that we hold that keep us where we are all at - and changing our actions and bodies brings all of these things to the forefront. And it can be UNCOMFORTABLE when these emotions come up - obviously, I didn't want to address these feelings before, that's why I freaking swallowed them, hello! So I'm trying to be really soft and compassionate with myself on this emotionally by acknowledging that I don't suck because I don't want to get up and work out, that its a part of my emotional process that I can look at and move through if I realize that I really DO want to change. All the while persevering through my internal kicking and screaming to make myself get out there and do SOMETHING even when I don't want to. Maybe its not a fast run or even a run, but its doing SOMETHING to shift my energy, to move my physical body and therefore to move myself forward emotionally.
I hope you find this helpful and that it encourages you to connect with yourself and your community here. I love you all and I really want ALL of us to be successful with EVERYTHING we want to achieve. And I definitely know that this physical energy is one manifestation of our whole lives - one that we actually do have some concrete control over. That can be hugely empowering - and by remembering that, maybe it can help with other areas of your life that you don't feel so empowered by. Ok?
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2 comments:
First off, I think it's great that you are trying to keep us connected. Thank you. I know when I started it was all about the race, but as soon as I saw the progress and felt it I knew it was more about the running and feeling healthy than the race. However, I do feel completely out of the loop. I was part of this thing and now I can't do it and it's hard. I've managed to keep moving here and there, but have not been seriously working out in a while. I'm powering through the physical and emotional pain better than I have in the past (although I can't seem to make it through a comment without crying), so that's good, but it's hard and lonely and frustrating at the same time. I am really, really looking forward to being able to run again...for me. I'll make an effort to re-connect here. I'm going to workout after work today. Stairmaster (if my leg can take it) and some weights.
Thanks for putting all this out there, Amy.
After that hike/run with you guys, I became super motivated to step it up. I realized that I've got potential to do well and finish the half marathon, which is one of my main health/fitness goals.
I'm going to post next with my ultimate health and fitness goals. :)
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